The Average White Guy goes out of his way to express that he is not a bigot. He values diversity as much as the next guy. Now this does not inherently imply that I am extremely comfortable with all types of people. Take Al-qaeda operatives for instance: I hate those bastards. This also applies to homosexuals. I don’t want to spin off onto a bigger tangent here, but I don’t see how I can avoid it, so let this post address the term homophobia, and why I am not one…

When someone has a phobia, we say that person is afraid of something. Accurately defined based on the homo- prefix, and the -phobia suffix, the term homophobia means “fear of homosexuality”. I’ve been accused of being a homophopic (homophobe) in my day, for reasons you will learn in a few moments, but the fact is, I am not a homophobe. I’m not afraid of homosexuality, or homosexuals at all. In fact, according to all stereotypical data I can collect, homosexuals are typically more docile than heterosexuals. They’re much too worried about performing arts and boy bands to cause me harm. At least that’s what the stereotype says. In fact, according to the stereotype, I could probably kick just about every homo ass in America.

Well, this is certainly not true. If you paid attention, you read “stereotypical” and “stereotype” in the text. But lets not fool ourselves into thinking that only the straights stereotype. I’ve been accused of being homophobic, by homosexuals or sympathizers thereto. How stereotypical is that? Just because the very idea of homosexuality makes me sick on every level of my existence, does not mean I’m afraid. “Ok.” they say, “You’re just afraid of the lifestyle taking over, and becoming acceptable.” Well that’s not entirely true either.

I don’t like that homosexuality is becoming mainstream, and even a little bit trendy. I don’t like that this is the one principle taught in the Bible which makes people think twice about Christianity. I think it’s rediculous to have a gay-pride day, with parades and the like. I recall a specific Simpsons episode where the gay pride parade came down Evergree Terrace (the street where the Simpsons live). One of the guys in the parade said in his efeminite voice: “We’re here, we’re queer, get used to it!”, to which Lisa Simpson replies: “You do this every year….we are used to it!” Nobody could say it better. Just fuckin’ stop already. Let me be. Be yourself, but don’t expose me to things with which I am not comfortable, because then you are infringing on my civil liberties. Too bad the ACLU (which might just be my next topic!) won’t defend my civil liberties, because I’m registered Republican, and I’m not a minority.

Now I’m sure someone reading this is calling me a homophobe right now. Well I’m not. Dislike and fear are two separate, distinct things….don’t get them confused, and for God’s sake, stop using the word homophobia; it’s not fitting, and completely inaccurate. I’m proud of who I am, and what I am, but I don’t parade in the streets, and I don’t impose on you by using every available opportunity to remind you I’m straight. I don’t seek the gay community’s acceptance of my heterosexuality. Fuck them; I don’t care what they think. I don’t care what anyone thinks. That’s how it ought to be.