Average White Guy of the Week: Michael Vick
This one should be a puzzler for you. Michael Vick is the hands-down winner of the “Average White Guy of the Week” award. “Wait, Michael Vick is black!” Yes, you’re correct. Michael Vick is in fact a black man. So how come he can still earn this award? Simple: Affirmitive Action. Yes, that’s correct. I can’t discriminate any more than McDonald’s or IBM can.
Date: 11/27/2006
Name: Michael Vick
Title: Starting Quarterback
Company: Atlanta Falcons (NFL)
Reason for Nomination: After his loss on Sunday with the New Orleans Saints, Vick tossed the middle finger up to a few fans. That in and of itself is no reason to win this award. Throwing the finger is a guy’s way of saying “Hey, fuck you, man…fuck you.” We love to do it, and I’d never be surprised to hear an NFL player tossing it up when he’s getting boo’ed. What makes Vick’s instance so special, is that he threw the finger up to his own fans.
It’s tough to tell exactly who he’s looking at, but if a picture speaks a thousand words, then I don’t need to say anything else except: Congratulations, Mr. Vick, You’re one outstanding example of an average white guy - even though you’re black.
