Someone has to tell me wha the big stink about the “Tuna” is. Bill Parcells was an average head coach, and nothing more. He’s got one Super Bowl ring to show for his career, yet people treat the man like a football diety. So can you please explain to me why Bill Parcells is so fucking important?

If you’ve ever seen Parcells in a post-game interview, you know he’s responsible for every win, but not a single loss. When his team gets beat, he tells the cameras that the players didn’t get it done. Of course that’s true, no losing team was full of players that “got it done”. But they did get it done when the team won, yet the credit goes all to himself. He’ll talk about certain calls he made, and how he “got it done”. That’s bogus man…bullshit.

So here I am sitting at a bar for lunch today (The Average White Guy doesn’t drink, but he smokes, hence the bar) and I’m watching ESPNews cover the retirement, for which I said to myself, “Who cares?” Wasn’t I made to look like the fool when ESPN broke in on the ESPNews channel with a “Sports Center Special Report” covering the retirement. Of course everyone cares, right? Otherwise ESPN wouldn’t give it any air time!

I doubt whether or not there was this much media coverage on November 22, 1963 (The day JFK was assassinated). So I’m going to renew my plight: What is so fucking special about Bill Parcells? He’s got one Superbowl ring, so does Brian Billick with the Ravens. We don’t talk of Billick as a hero among men, do we? Billick in my opion (even hating the Ravens as I do) is a far superior coach to Parcells, even in Bill’s heyday, and with the 1986 New York Giants.

So Average White Guy readers, please, tell me I’m full of shit (about this particular notion, because I know I am on almost all other facets). Tell me Parcells was great, listing reasons, and then end your short essay with a “And you should care because….”