The Average White Guy

You might not know this, but I’m tracking you. Not you exactly, but how you found The Average White Guy. Unless you go to your browser’s address bar and type in http://www.theaveragewhiteguy.com, you’re coming from a link some other webpage out on the internet. If the page is a search results page for a given search term in a search engine, I can tell which search term you used to find my website.

I’ve been analyzing keywords for years, and it always amazes me to see what people actually search for on sites like Google. Some of the search terms are just downright hilarious, while others wouldn’t raise an eyebrow, except that somehow searching on these keywords displays my pages in the search results. I thought it would be cool to put a few here. I’ll give you my top 5 search terms, the 5 weirdest (as judged by me), 5 funniest, 5 longest, and 5 that oddly enough show me in the search results, despite not being a bit relevant to my site. Here goes…

* denotes I’m ranked #1 on Google for that term
~ denotes I’m on the first page of results for that term

Top 5 Search Terms

• average white guy *
• tony dungee
• bruised weiner *
• nhl 2k7 exploits ~
• rob dibble

Weirdest 5 Search Terms

• guys that fuck themselves
• how to kill a tailgater
• howto drug dealing ~
• i’m a white guy do i have to dance?
• yorkie’s ears stink

Longest 5 Search Terms

• movie where man is hit by car and the driver tries to help him but he is annoying but helps in the end
• is there a defense when you get hit while making a left hand turn in pennsylvania
• X-17, the video shows an enraged and bald-headed Spears
• ultravnc remote administration without disconnecting user ~
• alright stop what you’re doin humpty i’m about to ruin ~

Most Irrelevant 5 Search Terms (to my site)

• the andruw sisters ~
• boxhead more rooms
• dustedbunny
• live media coverage november 22, 1963
• roadkill flatpeople
• swast

Honorable Mentions

• White Guys need cock too
• white wife on black guy
• white guy at the appollo
• how to give a white guy head *
• how long does the average guy have sex
• average testicles

Google updates its page index daily, so if you click one of those links and I’m not there, don’t go calling me a liar, and abandoning my site for good or anything.