I don’t know what I’m suffering from, but it’s not being very nice to me. Maybe it’s a bug, but I don’t think so. But whatever it is, I HATE IT! It started this morning I woke up about 4:30am with some nasty heartburn. I went to the bathroom and chewed some Tums. I went back to bed, and I was ok. I woke up for work a few hours later, but I could already tell it was gonna be a rough morning.

I stopped for gas at a station about 10 minutes from my house. I got out of the car, and felt the stomach start acting up. It sorta felt like I would imagine a clothes dryer feels with a pair of shoes in it. Now nobody else could hear it, but it sounded loud to me… My stomach was making some nasty noises. I thought I could make it to work, which doesn’t necessarily improve the situation. (read my previous post about this: A Major Drawback to Working for a Big Company) But all things considered, it was the best choice.

I got back in the car, and headed back out towards the office. It couldn’t have been more than 30 seconds when I realized there was NO chance I was going to make it the 40 minutes I still had to drive to work. I had to find a mens room. The church….no. Movie theater? Too early in the morning. OH! Natalie’s old office! I still know the folks there…No. WAY too embarassing. The hotel? No way…they’d have a problem with that. Walgreens? Well, it was either Walgreens or the Elementary School across the intersection…and because I’m in my late 20’s, I figured I’d just look out of place.

I pulled into the lot, parked, and made the very short-strided steps (one can never be too careful) to the door, and in almost a panic (Yes, I’m in a panic) I scan the back wall for the men’s room. There it is. It couldn’t have been more than 60 feet away, but it felt like I was in the desert walking towards a mirage. Of course the worst ran through my head: “What if there’s someone in there?! Are you prepared to try the ladies room?” The answer was yes. Yes I was ready to do what I needed to.

I’ve never been that close to the disaster than I was this morning. I was frightened, and I don’t scare easily (unless you count the notion of Hillary in 2008……I just got a cold shiver). I shouldn’t have shared this story with you; it’s quite personal, but I see it as a minor triumph. I battled the beast (turtlehead) and won. There’s a reason I breeched the subject though…

Whenever you tell someone you’ve got an aching headache, sore throat, or upset stomach. They’re always inclined to immediately reply: “Maybe it’s a stomach bug…it’s been going around.” It doesn’t matter what season it is, who the person is, or when you tell them. It’s basically an instinct; it can’t be helped. I think the next time I’m told I might be suffering from something that’s going around…I’m going to get them to help me trace the spread of sed “bug”. I’ll want to know who else you knew that suffered in the same fashion as I am now, and I’ll want them to get that person to tell them the same thing, so they can tell me and so on and so forth until someone finally says “I don’t think Adam got it from anyone…maybe Eve…”