The Average White Guy

DISCLAIMER: I plan to be extremely defamatory (although defamation implies falsehoods, which this post will contain none of). I will use language that would make Stanley Kubrick cringe. I will under no circumstance pull punches. I wouldn’t read this if you have a child in the room, a weak stomach, or an existing heart condition. You have been warned.

In the 1970’s it was Hanoi Jane (Jane Fonda), in the 80’s and 90’s it was Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon. Today it’s Rosie O’Donnell. Rarely if ever have I ever uttered the word in public or in written form, because of the degrading nature of it, but Rosie O’Donnell is a cunt. I’ll back this up.

I can’t think of a time when I could ever tolerate Rosie. My first exposure to her was back in the early 1990’s in the movie “A League of Their Own”. While this is a great flick, Rosie was its most obvious weak spot. Having been a terrible actress and no prior work to draw from, Rosie would normally have dissappeared from site, content to make her residuals and royalties until she died. Since she was friends with actress and singer Madonna, Rosie hung around like the big, dumb (and I couldn’t be more literal) sidekick. I suppose it was during this time that her popularity landed her such outstanding roles as Betty, Barney’s wife in “The Flintstones” and Lucille in “Car 54 Where Are You?”. Both of which won exactly and precisely zero awards of any kind. She moved on to TV doing some guest-star work, cameos, etc… But in 1996 she swooned some stupid TV network into giving her 60 minutes of air time to host her own show.

The aptly name “Rosie O’Donnell Show” began like any other celebrity talk show. She’d have a guest on to promote their new movie, show, song, or performance. They’d talk and laugh at Hollywood jokes. They’d tell little stories. Somewhere during the run of her show, Rosie admitted to the world that she was in love with Tom Cruise. This had to have been a lie - we’ll get back to this later. As the show wore on, Rosie became more critical of the government and politics in the U.S. Some people believe this might have actually cost her the show after six seasons.

In 2004 Rosie O’Donnell led a group of homosexuals up the steps to the San Francisco City Hall. Here, Rosie and gay loveer would be among the first gay couples to be married in the U.S., although The Average White Guy refuses to acknowledge the blessed union between two men or two women. It was about this time that Rosie jumped from annoying bitch on TV to a rebel-rousing “actorvist”, stirring the shit storm at every available opportunity. Rosie became hypercritical of the war in Iraq, or the Bush administration, and of conservatism in general. No fucking kidding. She began to do appearances on TV solely for the purpose of trashing the U.S. Because of her popularity and her controversial opinions, Barbara Walters put her on her show “The View”. The View is a panel of women tackling issues. It’s sorta had a checkered past, starting with Star Jones, and more recently Rosie O’Donnell. While I’ve never seen the show (believe me, I’m not missing anything), I know that one show not too long ago, Rosie and Elizabeth Hasselbeck (also a panelist on the show) argued over the war in Iraq. Not only did the on-air fight end with Rosie O’Donnell licking her wounds, it also was the last straw. Walters asked Rosie to leave (although the story goes that Rosie quit the show).

Rosie’s criticism of the Bush Administration, the war in Iraq, American treatment of Al-Qaeda, Donald Trump, the republican party, and well everything else in the country has led me to the following opinion:

Rosie O’Donnell is a hateful butch-dike with no talent, no brain, and no morals.

Somewhere in the conversation of the treatment of terrorist detainees, Rosie mentioned that it’s not fair how bad they’re treated. She uttered “Terrorists are mommies and daddies too. What about their kids?” Well, Rosie…fuck those kids. There I said it. I know that when those kids are old enough to get into the game or get on a plane with a belly full of explosives and a detonation timer, they will. I know that once their little kids’ hands are big enough, they’ll grip the AK-47’s with the same fervor as their terrorist “mommies and daddies”. I know they’ve been raised to hate. I know they despite The West, Christianity, and Judaism. I know they’ve been corrupted all the way to their core, and that they are terrorists in training. Fuck those kids. Fuck their parents. They deserve no special treatment, and will not get my sympathies.

“Thank You President Carter” - The title of one of the butch-dike’s blog posts. What the fuck do I have to thank for that socialist scumbag? The man brought America to the brink of defeat in the Cold War. The man is a fucking moron. I can see why you’d thank him, Rosie. He’s a cunt just like you are. He hasn’t been president in 27 years, and yet he still commands a legion of faithful followers (not big enough to get his ass re-elected) who are willing to spread his communist words. Carter should just stick to building houses for the poor (the people who he made poor to begin with) and leave the real politics to those with more than duck shit between their ears.

In your post, you mention the notion of “preemptive war”, and how this philosophy differs from all previous administrations. Well, bitch…think about it again. You fucking hippies and “actorvists” didn’t see the reality in Sout East Asia in the 1960’s and you don’t see the reality now. The NVA/Vietcong, Radical Muslims, Al-Qaeda, the Taliban, etc… are out to destroy our way of life…YOUR way of life. The way of life that lets your cunt-lovin’ ass get married, spout off about anything whenever you want to, and piss on your national leaders. Preemptive war is a method for stopping these cocksuckers before they can inflict that (or any) kind of damage. What the fuck is wrong with that? Do we need to wait for an asshole dictator to invade a neighbor, burn millions and millions and millions of gallons of oil, destroy the environment, and rape the economy (um…Hussein/Kuwait) BEFORE we stand up and do something? FUCK THAT. We’re Americans. We’re the luckiest people on Earth. We’re the most capable people on Earth. We’re the most able (and eager) people on Earth. Why the hell shouldn’t we defend democracy?

Why shouldn’t we defend democracy? Why shouldn’t we be able to step in and say “Go fuck yourself…you’re messing with our allies” when it happens without you God damned Marxists calling it “unwanted occupation”? Why shouldn’t we be out there looking out for our fellow humans? Why shouldn’t we spread liberty everywhere we can? Why shouldn’t we go and smoke out and destroy the worst forms of humankind - terrorists? We should you fat bitch.

We’ve given terrorists a face, this part is true. What isn’t true is the claim that the U.S. presence in the middle east is actually spurning the youth and encouraging them to become terrorists. Believe me, radical Islam needs nothing real to create terrorists. They’ve been doing it for centuries. America’s presence there in the middle east has had some impact though. We’ve not been attacked since 9/11/2001. That’s almost six years if you’re counting. So fuck you and your band of flunkies…Bush is getting it done.

You know what occurs to me? If America sucks so bad, why the fuck don’t you get out? Go live amongst those you profess to give a shit about. See what they’d do to you, considering homosexuality is a mortal sin to the Muslims. Let them take your pasty white ass out into the square and stone you. At that moment, I want you to remember all the shit you slung from the left at the White House. I want you to think about all the shit you tried to defend without an inkling of experience. I want you to ask yourself why, if you’re born gay or straight, why are they stoning you? And at that very moment, I want you to look down at your swollen legs (although your fat ass is always looking swollen) and see the blood flowing. Then I want you to know just how much that spurns the Islamic youth. The youth who are taught to seek the blood and death of us “infidels”. Seeing us perish is the encouragement they need.

So, now that we’ve agreed that you’re a big fat butch-dike communist pig, we should also agree that it’s about time to shut your fucking mouth. You’re nothing but a thorn in America’s side. As I said, you should just move out. But if you don’t, I’ll know that it’s your right. You have the right in America to do as you please. You have the right to say what you want, when you want, and how you want, to whomever you want. But so do I you puss-licking whore. Why can’t we extend the same liberties to Iraqis?

It’s time for me to go now, so I’m going to say this last little bit, and I’ll be done. I believe your motives for questioning the government, military, and all figures in between is not because you don’t believe. It’s not because you feel so strongly about the issues. It’s because your ugly, no-talent (fat) ass needs the attention. You need to keep the limelight. You need the fame and fortune. Well, you’re getting it because the majority of the population is just stupid enough to keep tuning you in and hearing your hateful, Marxist, anti-American remarks. Get a life butch-dike.