The Average White Guy

I’m lighting my finesh cigar, and drinking my best champagne. My Google Adsense revenues have reached $50.00! It took me only 11 months, and 20,000 clicks but I’ve done it, and nobody can take that away…nobody!

Of course I’m trying to spin this to be a good thing…I’ve tried everything. I’ve tried to piss you all off, make you all laugh, feel my pain and pity me, rally your support, raise your awareness level on all sort of things, and share with you the deepest and most intimate secrets of my life. Nothing seems to work. Of course my failures as an Adsense affiliate are not as much a result of what I write, or how much of it I write, but how many people read what I write. I’ve been writing for almost a year. In that time, I’ve always had Adsense ads posted with my content. In that year, I’ve earned 133 clicks for a grand total of $50.13 in earnings…WOW!

Just think… In another year, I’ll have earned the necessary $100.00 minimum to receive a check from Google. (Of course, it will be taxed, and I will have to wait a month for the check to process before I’ll get it.) Here are a few things I could do with the $4.16/month I’m averaging:

1. Buy a few loafs of bread
2. Make a few wishes in the local mall fountain or wishing well
3. Pay the parking meter when I need to park in town for an afternoon
4. Gumballs and/or Swedish Fish in bulk
5. Make pressed pennies
6. Invest it!
7. buy a pack of cigarettes (but I’d have to add other funds)
8. Give it to the poor - in exchange for the “Hey, what the fuck is this? A joke? $4.16 are you kidding me?!”
9. Buy three tacos from Taco Bell
10. Play the lottery…and lose

Of course there are PLENTY of things I could do with $4.16 every month, but I have to wait to get that money. It’s not realtime…I have to earn $100 first, then wait a month, then I’ll get my check. So here’s a list of things I could get with that $100.00 when it comes:

1. Pay a traffic ticket
2. Buy a nice dinner for me and Natalie
3. Get a new XBox360 game or two
4. Pay off a credit bill for a month
5. Pay for this site for one month
6. Invest it!
7. Again, I could get gumballs and/or Swedish Fish
8. I could buy a Ken Griffey Jr. 1989 Donruss Rated Rookie baseball card
9. Gamble it away in a single blackjack hand
10. Frame it and look at it for two years

Either way, I could have loads of fun with my new-found cashcow. Blah!