I was just filled in today on what the OBX sticker means. I’d seen them everywhere (in the eastern USA). If you look at the sticker to the left,  you’ll notice that OBX means “Outer Banks, Nort Carolina”. You’d get one of these for your car’s read window on a trip to the Outer Banks.

People do sport these stickers proudly. They place them on vehicles where you’d never see a bumper sticker except this one. They sport these stickers like they’re badges of honor. But readers…WHAT THE FUCK?

Visiting the Outer Banks of North Carolina requires nothing more than a car. I could leave my office here (Cranberry, PA) at the 5:04pm it is right now, and be in the Outer Banks before 12:00am. I’ve been there a few times in fact. it’s a very lovely place to vacation, please don’t misunderstand that. I’d go there right now if I could. But to stick a sticker on my car to celebrate this momentus occasion, as it were some sort of spiritual rite of passage? No fuckin’ way people.

I’ve created for  you all a few similar stickers (which I could even sell to you if you’re interested) which celebrate the honor of feats accomplished comparable to making it to what is apparently the second holy land, the Outer Banks. Check these out:

This is the “Went to Work” sticker. You could potentially get it after a whole day on the job…just one day on the job.

This one of course is the “Read a Book” sticker. Your 7-year-old would sport this after reading the “Green Eggs & Ham” Dr. Suess book.

Finally, my favorite. The “Took a Shit” badge of honor.

Yes folks driving to the Outer Banks (from anywhere East of the Mississippi River) is about as much of an accomplishment as either of these three accomplisments. In fact, some people actually live on the Outer Banks… Yep, I said that. You can quote me too.

Americans have dropped the bar so low that we’ll actually put stickers on our cars to show others how proud we are of ourselves because we drove to a beach. I guess that’s all life amounts to when you can graduate from college without knowing how to read. Holy shit…now THAT’s an accomplishment GWR “Graduated Without Reading”!