A Toast To 756
I’d like to propose a toast, so if you’ll all stand, raise your glasses, and join me…
Here’s to Barry Bonds… for hitting his 756th career home run, making him #1 on the all-time list.
Here’s to Hank Aaron… for being extremely magnanimous for doing the pre-recorded message played on the jumbotron at AT&T park after Barry hit his homerun.
Here’s to baseball… for being the greatest game in the world.
Here’s to the fans of San Francisco… for making last night a dream come true for Barry.
Here’s to the fans of the rest of the league… for booing Barry Bonds during every at-bat since 2004.
Here’s to BALCO (Bay Area Lab Company)… for providing Barry Bonds (among other world-class athletes) with the chemical suppliments and performance-enhancing drugs which made it all possible.
Here’s to Victor Conte… Owner/CEO of BALCO for continuing to research and create performance-ehancing drugs which can’t be detected, at least by today’s testing standards.
Here’s to Greg Anderson… for maintaining his silence before the grand jury pertaining to the knowledge of Barry’s use of steroids, holding himself in contempt of court and in jail long enough for long-time “friend” Barry Bonds to hit his record-braking dinger.
Here’s to Bud Selig… for allowing the steroid situation to boil over on his watch.
Here’s to Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa, Jose Conseco, Raphael Palmeiro, Ken Caminiti, Juan Gonzalez, Jason Giambi, Gary Sheffield, and others… for creating a generation of fans who dig the long ball more than quality baseball.
Here’s to the ownership and Management of the San Francisco Giants… for paying Barry an un-Godly amount of money to come back for one year, so that they might benefit from the fruits of the steroid-abuser Barry Bond’s labor.
Here’s to ESPN… for highlighting Barry’s chase for “baseball immortality”, and simultaneously glorifying the supreme cheater.
Here’s to Ford Frick… baseball writer who invented the use of the asterisk * to denote the leader in a category but with some dubious distinction so that we can accurately distinguish the record holder (Barry Bonds - 756*) from the true home run king (Henry “Hank” Aaron - 755).
Finally, here’s to every person (including George Mitchell) who has knowledge of Barry’s steroid abuse, but has yet to come forward with proof… for letting Barry obtain an ill-gotten, tainted record. Not just any record, but THE record in professional sports.
Sorry for the long toast… I just had lots of people to toast here.
As you can probably tell, I’m anything but overcome by joy at seeing this record fall. I told my self time and time again that I’d intentionally NOT watch him hit it, but alas, I saw it live in HD. Sure it was a beautiful shot, like so many Bonds homeruns… It might have even been completely legal, in that Barry stopped taking the dope a while back. Does this change anything? Nope. Barry is a cheater. He’s made millions on his cheating. He’s disillusioned millions of fans. He’s created baseball’s first “false god”. Even the national media (www.si.com, www.sportsline.com, www.nypost.com, to name a few) refuse to acknowledge Barry’s feat as a true accomplishment.
I won’t recognize him either. In my book there is still only one man who hit 755 homeruns. That man is Hank Aaron. Hammerin’ Hank! I will however give Barry credit for avoiding federal prosecution for perjury. Not everyone can do that. We should be celebrating that. We should be embracing Barry Bonds with the same level of heroism as we do say, Al Capone. Capone was a killer, racketeer, and gangster. His life of crime has made him a household name. Hell, we almost revere the guy anymore. We should do the same with Barry. In 75 years, people will remember Barry was a cheater before they remember him as a baseball legend. We’ll even joke about it. Thanks Barry.
How a man can dedicate his life to the game of baseball, yet have zero respect for it is beyond me. All the things Barry has cheated from the game are all the things which make it great. He’s weakened the game of baseball dramatically. I’m not worried though. There is a “New Hope” (holy shit, a Star Wars reference in a baseball spiel) out there. There is another one who can save the game’s (and pro sports’) most hallowed record.
His name is Alex Rodriguez. Should he stay he healthy, he’ll annihilate Barry’s “record”* and claim the true title of king of swing. He’s sitting at 500 lifetime jacks, and he’s still only 32 years old. I’m pulling for him; you should too. He’s going to bring the record back to the game. I’m sure Aaron will embrace A-Rod when it happens. I’m sure he’ll be happy to pass his true crown on.
Enjoy your champagne.
While I agree that Bonds took the juice, you don’t think that “Hammerin Hank” would’ve if he could have? Or Babe Ruth?
Personally, I could care less about those idiots who take the drugs. Let them destroy their bodies - that’s why we watch - let’s see some inflated dude swing a bat to knock the ball out. He’s soo big that he can’t run like he used to, field like he used to, or steal bases like he used to - but he can hit the HR.
About the only good thing in Bond’s chase for the record is that we got a break from the Yankees and Red Sox for awhile on ESPN, since those are the only 2 teams that network cares about.